A man crawls into the emergency room profusely bleeding from his anus. "Somebody help! I've been raped by an elephant!"
The staff was able to get him into surgery to stop the bleeding. Examining the initial hole, the nurse was amazed. It was as as wide as a dinner plate! She questioned him, "Sir, this hole is big. I mean, it's REALLY BIG. And I know that an elephant's penis is long and slender, not thick like this. An elephant certainly did not do this."
The man replied, "He fingered me first."
